My Heart Is Broken, Again

It’s shattered into a million pieces, again. My second Golden Girl, my sweet Shadow, joined her sister and best friend, Callie, in Heaven a week ago. It’s been hard, so very hard to write this post. I’ve been going through life in a fog this past week. So many parallels between Callie and Shadow and their end-of-life stories. Those parallels keep creeping into my thoughts and make me realize how spiritually connected they’ve been from the beginning.

Spiritual connectivity aside, Shadow’s final three and a half weeks on Earth were hard on her – physically and emotionally – the pulled groin muscle in her right rear leg hurt. It hurt a lot. She didn’t want to get up off her dog bed. But once she was standing and walking, she seemed happy to be at least somewhat active.

Her favorite times were always those spent in the backyard with all of us. As the days passed, she stopped eating and then drinking. Her kidney levels were a little elevated when we did her senior blood profile; but the vet wasn’t all that concerned because of the meds she was taking for the pulled muscle.

What concerned us was her not eating. We tried an appetite stimulant, without success. Our only option was to put Shadow on fluids overnight to jumpstart her appetite and kidney function. The next afternoon she seemed to feel better but was still not interested in food. So we opted for another 48 hours of fluids and meds.

The follow-up bloodwork showed very little improvement in some values and none in others. Our poor, sweet girl was in renal failure and too tired to fight any more. And Callie – bless her – kept her sister going until we could return to be with her in her final moments.

As we did 3-1/2 years ago with Callie, we did all we could to help Shadow fight for her life. We have no regrets about her treatments. We only wish the outcome had been different.

Our sweet girl is reunited with her ever-devoted and loving sister and best friend. My mental images of their reunion give me great comfort and allow me to smile through my tears.

24 thoughts on “My Heart Is Broken, Again

    • My Golden Life says:

      Thanks, Leslie! It’s been a super-tough week. But at least Callie was waiting for her Shadow. And I know Callie will be forever at Shadow’s side, in Heaven as she was here on Earth. They’re my twin Golden Angels now. β€οΈπŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡β€οΈ

  1. easyweimaraner says:

    our tears are running with yours… I was so sad as I got the message… hugs to you… that are the moments we had all that miles a lot what are between us… but we are on your side in our thoughts and with our whole heart…

  2. edgar62 says:

    I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of Dear Shadow. My heart goes out to you because I understand. Four years ago I lost both of my dogs within six months of each other. Remember we are all “dog people” and you are not alone. We feel your loss.

  3. Jan K says:

    You know I’ve been thinking of you every day, and understand how much your heart hurts. I’m so glad you have Ducky to focus on and she gives you comfort. Love and hugs to all of you from me and Luke. β™₯

  4. Dakota/Caren/Cody says:

    Oh nooooo, I am so far behind on reading blog posts that I didn’t see this til now. My heart is just breaking for you. Sweet Shadow, I am so desperately sorry for your loss. It is bittersweet though, while Callie will be happy to be reunited, there is such a void. I am so deeply, deeply sorry. I am around a lot if you ever need an ear or anything. ((((hugs))) and much love.

  5. Tails Around the Ranch says:

    Tears are streaming down my face as I read this post. I’m so sorry the end was so hard on your sweet girl and harder on you. They never stay long enough with us, do they? Sending loving thoughts to you, Sam and precious Ducky as you mourn your sweet girl. Find comfort in her being united with her sister, Callie. They are running pain free, tails and ears extended seeking angel adventures together. πŸ’”

    • My Golden Life says:

      Thanks, Monika. The hardest part was not being able to be with Shadow those last three nights, loving on her. But at least she was getting the best care we could get her. She knew we were doing our best for her. But Callie’s call to join her was too strong. Callie kept her going long enough for us to have our final moments together on Earth. She knew I would never forgive myself otherwise. Callie was a wise girl. I do find comfort knowing that she was waiting for Shadow with open paws. And bless Ducky…she’s been our rock.

  6. Marie says:

    Oh so very sorry! I know how you feel! May the member of your family rest in peace, but have fun crossing, “Rainbow Bridge”! She/He will have fun there I’m sure with so many relatives & friends!!! Sending you a big Hug!!! I have a black lab that’s nine & he’s my baby too! Go have yourself some ICE CREAM you’ll feel so much better!!! That’s what I do! HUGS

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